PsychSec Class #1: There Will Be No New Normal

Have you ever noticed how people seem a bit off since the pandemic almost certainly died down in most places since there's widely available vaccines, although the world is still in a state of crisis? Have you ever thought that, well, this is the new normal, just to think the next morning that the new normal went not normal too fast? Have you ever thought that maybe you're just anxious because a lot of things are going on in your work, relationships or any other kind of preoccupation you ever have at the tip of your hat? It's better to swallow this big pill up sooner than later, there will be no "new normal".

There is a worldwide crisis, not only health or environmental or economical, but psychological crisis, we are all, as much we like or not to accept or to admit to ourselves, a bit crazier than it feels right. And that is because we are really crazier than a year ago. This is something that you don't ever get over with. This was it.

Our generation's best days are over. If you are able to cope with everything crazy that is going on, even with your own sanity, as you see that the sanity of those who are supposed to be sane has gone down a drain, well, you are certainly a very adaptable young person.

However, a lot of us will never get over this.

A lot of us will just simply think back and say: well, that was my life.

This is an extremely hard position to be in.

And I don't have an answer or solution to it.

I am just writing a post because this realization over and over makes me insane, or at least almost non-functional. If I were not writing this, I'd be overthinking about the sounds my neighbors make or how I will ever find a community again or if I ever will be able to reconnect with any old friend again in my entire life.

A lot of us are going through this. And the reason why I wanted to create the concept of PsychSec, or Psychological Security, is because there are resources needed in that field to help build other types of security, like Cyber Security. Otherwise, how do you know when you're just being paranoid like your normal paranoid or you are actually facing a threat if you live in a world where there is no coming back from the traumatic year of being in-doors or at risk of an extremely new virus that is still not over?

Resilience, is the short word for that. PsychSec is just a fad-word I made to hype up the fact that I am really going to try to understand what is going on with my networks, despite the fact that I do have to face serious mental challenges. It sounds silly and I like it because of that. This blog will have a lot of, well, that, mental health challenges that I will express, or rather, just complain and be afraid of.

Like, I think my neighbors are leaving soft cues for me to go and take a shower. I cannot say that it did happen, because I haven't seen anyone telling me to take a shower, but I do think that it has happened so many times that maybe they are trying to send a message but they see that I am usually with my earbuds because I don't feel comfortable listening to a lot of noises all day.

Anyways, I refer to that issue as Wintermute, taken from the sub-IA in William Gibson's Neuromancer that controls Case, some cyberpunk, to do stuff and ends in a somewhat neutral ending.

I am usually too scared to talk to anyone. I haven't met my neighbors. I am weird. I am not evil, I will never do anything wrong to anyone, but I do need my space while I try to compose myself after, well, not one year of being indoors but almost 3 now, with a few exceptions.

I had to come up with the concept of Wintermute in order to retain some of my sanity after all the solitude I have endured, maybe because I am just inept at making friends or maybe because I had bad experiences meeting people before. However, I feel too old lately, and feeling like all of my friends are going through their own pains and sufferings which are too great.

I feel the only thing we can do in times like this is to take care of each other. At one point I was completely against whatever I call Wintermute. Now I try to think only of the good things I have and that maybe I have a couple of weird neighbors as well.

However, that's not how I always feel, so I keep writing my ideas down every now and then. It became a compulsion to write, something that I didn't have before. Maybe solitude isn't helping a lot, and maybe making friends would be great, but where do I start when there's no connecting node to the rest of a network?

I guess I'll have to hack myself in keep trying.

P.S.: Googling this I noticed that a lot of people already used the catchy phrase for their posts about whatever it means to them not to be normal anymore, and one hint that using "next normal" makes you more classy.